44. Distant Shores

By Kristin Hannah.

Plot is as usual great. Kristin Hannah is a great storyteller. Beautiful book about Life. Sometimes you just lose direction in life, you live so aimlessly, and people outside judge how did you let yourself become so meaningless and empty and so extreme. But everything in life is just too possible. But I’ve learnt much from her about love. You just need to keep loving. Because hurt is part of love. You’ve just got to accept that. And there’s no point resisting it, trying to glass yourself away from all the hurt.

Thought I would keep this quote in mind, “You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.” Richard Bach.

Today was the happiest day in my life for quite sometime. I had the great pleasure to listen to Miss Jane Peng and know more about ultrarunning, the great great honour to listen and even ask Mok Ying Ren about distance running, and the great delight to watch Justin Bieber. Everything that has happened today has simply blown me off my feet, and blown my mind. It’s just as well that Steve couldn’t meet for dinner, if not I wouldn’t be able to process all this overwhelming impacts on my life. (Oh well, my greatest crime might well be over reflecting.) On the sidelines (not really true, they are quite as significant), I finished the above lovely book and finally found a stethoscope.

Mok Ying Ren is, so, cool. He has made it so simple to see. The body adapts. That’s quite all there is about it. And the passion will carry you on. Patience and passion and consistency. And you will get it. It was funny and personal to see him hint not so subtlely about his aversion towards shortcut programs and coaches’ promises of fast delivery. I’m so happy I got to hear him speak about running for the very first time in my life. And weight does matter. I truly will work hard to it.

And watching  JB. How can people hate him? How can they find so much motivation to diss him? At the same time, the phenomenon overwhelmed me so much. JB represents all there is towards Life in the grand scheme of thing. About our deep desire to be wanted, in the hungry reaches and quivering lips of crying fans. About how life is so many things, how you just get swept along by tides. You don’t mean to walk in this direction, but things just happen, things happen to click as you go along, and suddenly you are just so high up there. How would his mum imagine that dreams would come true in the very form of something that initially seemed to be the ultimate dreamslasher? This entire thing is just so massive. Massive Massive massive. The fans yearning for Justin, somehow this scene tells me about Thirst. For what I’m not quite sure.

And when things click, shucks, it just becomes, beyond words. EVERYTHING. At the same time that justin is getting everything, when the movie shows him curled up in bed in his caravan, you just feel a little tender somewhere inside you, tender for this little boy who was chosen in the grad scheme of life to embody a Big Thing. A blessing and also a burden. Maybe at some point he slowly realises worriedly, can I handle all this? Have things become too big? Am I adequate and enough for my fans? Will they see the real me and be disappointed at how little I have to offer?

And when you think about all these undercurrents beneath the glam and the fame, when you consider the hard facts like his dancing and his singing and his concerts, together with all these interacting reciprocal emotions of yearning and serving and pushing of fans and jb, you just want to hit pause and stop further thinking. Because it’s just too massive. And then you just settle back and be comfortable with being a fangirl, just smiling at his cute face and likeable personality. And just nod along that life is indeed beautiful. So many things can happen and we don’t need to try to make things happen or resist things from happening. Things just are. There are greater forces at work. We can only do so much, the rest is really up to the above.

It really is insane. And, I like Justin Bieber.

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