By Henry Marsh
Read this book about 2months ago.
I remember identifying easily with Dr Marsh’s thoughts during his daily work. To quote what I wrote in a note to Min, “it certainly brought back alot of the emotions and thoughts which the author identified with. I was in NES for 2 months last year, September and November, as a MO. And in November 2014, as a HO. Those were dark times, compared to the other subspecialties. At worst, you feel hopeless and question internally, what the point of doing all this is for. The patients barely move, and their eyes are lifeless. You feel like ending it may be better for them, and for the living.”
To complete the picture, there are the times which bring a warm glow in your heart. I had a patient who was grumpy delirious in the midst of a hypertensive BG bleed, and I left the posting without hope for her to have meaningful connection with her despairing relatives. When I returned as MO, in she came to my clinic room, calm and pleasant. She could not remember the times of her confusion. I saw the weary yet comforted look in her sister standing by her side.
May surgery never let me forget that nothing is under human control. May surgery never let me forget to comfort always.